If you don't like the way you are headed, change direction. Go inside. Search your place of inner wisdom. See what it calls you to do. Then do it.

Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. wisely said:

"You don't have to see the whole staircase, just the first step."

I'm not sure why you are reading this today,

but if you are in a situation similar to mine:

Screw the first step. 

You feel helplessly trapped in a dark corridor,

No light, not steps, completely dark and empty,

with nothing to pull you out.

Stuck in the muck of crap, there is that calling:

Talking to you. 

Teasing you. 

Telling you there is a different way. 

Causing you to toss and turn at night. 

But the negative self-talk wins out. 

"You are loser."

"I can't do that."

"Why did this happen?"

"What could I have done?"

"What more do you want from me?"

You've even took your game up to another level:

You are dedicated, not missing the show, book, or podcast. 

You are consuming all the information. 

You are studying the people you like.

And for whatever reason,

Life will not stop fucking you. 

There is one concept that I need to make clear:

If you want to un-fuck yourself, 

You don't need money;

You don't need love;

You don't need support;

You don't allow outside people dictate your self-worth;

or any other bullshit that the average person uses to feel good about themselves.

You need to relearn everything you've been taught. 

You need you. 

You are your own competition.

It is truly you versus you.

This, my friends, is the hardest fucking part. 

You are 100% in control of your own destiny.

Here is an expression that I've learned to live by:

The Buck Stops Here. 

If you are reading this right now, 

your answer is inside of you, 

talking to you as you read these words. 

There is a simple difference between people living their true lives 

and the people who are not.

The difference has nothing to do with economics, brains,

where you live, whether you're rich or poor.

It has to do with one single change you need to make:

Authentically following your Guiding Voice in its purest form. 

Like,

I read the books.

I went to the meetings.

I traveled on credit cards to see public speakers.

I was doing everything that I was taught.

And what happened? 

I failed. 

I blamed. 

I cried. 

I absolutely hated my life.

I was forcing life instead of letting life work for me. 

And life came down to one pivotal moment, the 

Moment I decided to follow my Guiding Voice. 

This moment literally changed my life forever!

Seeing my partner is 8-months pregnant.

Knowing I am out of money. 

Sitting in a chair in a room that I will call my office. 

Staring out the window.

Wondering how in the world am I going to provide for this baby?

Feeling like the biggest loser on Planet Earth. 

Grieving about my dad just dying. 

Thinking how he didn't live long enough to meet his first grandbaby. 

Cohabitating with a partner who no longer supports me. 

Contemplating how life is not supposed to be this way.

Pondering on what the fuck did I do wrong?

Asking myself how I am going to feed my son.

Speculating am going to be a stay-at-home dad?

Crying, I look up at the ceiling.

Shouting, God, "What am I supposed to do?"

Hearing a voice, and the voice said, 

"Get back in it."

My self doubting victimization talk came back to me:

"Get back in it?"

"How can I get back in it?"

           - I don't have any money 

           -I have $450k in default debt. 

           -My credit score in the 400's.

           -I have judgement, after judgment on my credit report.

           -I can't even open a personal bank account.

           -I only have one car family.

           -I just missed a mortgage payment in her name.

"What do you mean get back in it?"

I write this 11 years and 2 months after hearing my guiding voice.

If you can muster up the courage to follow your inner guiding voice.

You keep listening, following, stepping forward,

Regardless of the obstacles that you may face.

If you never quit, 

You can live your dream, your calling, whatever life has destined for you. 

I Promise.

Proof lives all around you:

I am living proof. 

Other's I've met along the way are living proof. 

People you study and adore are living proof. 

I was willing to do whatever it took.

I had nothing, 

I was behind zero, 

but my guiding voice kept repeating:

Get back in it.

Chapter 3: